Summer Nights

What's going on?

It's been awhile, and as usual life moves at lightening speed. Recently, my boy turned 9 years old. I know.  I am equal points proud of my little man, and frankly, a little unhinged that the next birthday is a big one for him. My little boy, not so little anymore...

Yeah, everyone talks about how fast time moves along, but I swear I can't tell you where this year is going. I've been busy continuing on my life improvement journey. It's going really well. I had a review of blood work and my cholesterol is normal! for the first time in my life. I am still losing weight, which is awesome. I am, however, still losing my hair (boo) and dealing with moderate to OMG pain! muscle and joint issues (for which I have a specialist appointment in June). So, good news/bad news I guess, but I'm just happy to put my health first. I'll get there one step at a time.

Summer is looming, oh heck, it's here I guess. The boy finishes 3rd grade on the 20th of June. We joined a swim club, once again (and maybe taking advantage of it more frequently when I'm not working). I joined a CSA (Co-Op) at an organic farm this year. First time doing this, and I am all kinds of excited. Will post some pictures of my bounty over the summer. As long a we don't have a drought here in the Northeast, I should be very happily stocked with veggies.

Photo Credit: aandrec75 via Flickr 

Vacation cannot come soon enough. Summer means our annual road trip down south to Hilton Head Island, SC. I am looking forward to my feet in the sand.  My chair is waiting...

 Lastly, it finally dawned on me why I find it so hard to blog here, and the reason came quite clear to me in the shower this morning (whaat?  I do my best thinking in the shower)... I hate this platform I am on. I am going to finally reinvent and renovate this place and move it to WordPress. I have a couple other places I've been writing, but it only seems like I am cheating on my first love, which is BagMomma and the years of history I have here. So, I am consolidating, shutting the doors on extraneous blogs and coming home (here)... although here will be "there" soon. Dresden, are you reading? I may need a line on some technical help to accomplish what I want to do. :-) For those of you that are still hanging in, thank you. I am still here and will continue to be, even more.

Photo Credit: admiralspalast via Flickr 

The title of this post? I heard this "Grease" classic while in line at a store a couple days ago, and I can. not. get it out of my head. Danny and Sandy on the brain.... my son thinks I am crazy as I have sang the complete song from end to end while sliding in the kitchen. He has not seen the movie "Grease" yet, even though I bet I can find it in five seconds on any cable channel right now. I'm thinking I will need to bust out the soundtrack at least so he knows I am not making this sh!t up. If you could only see the perplexed look on his face when I burst into my medley... in 1978 I WANTED to be Sandy SO BAD... of course that was when Travolta was... ummmm... more appealing.

Heh.

 

Beach Bummed

Well, July just flew by.

As promised I present you with photographic evidence of my spray tan. It looked great (ignore my mean face). Even coverage, no streaks, and no orange glow. I methodically used the blocker lotion on my hands, feet, knees and elbows as directed... and it was easy. Would definitely do it again, and especially for a unique occasion. For those of you who asked, the tan was via VersaSpa (not Mystic) and I chose the medium tone. I am intrigued to try the dark tone, but a little scared. Maybe on a week I know I don't have to go anywhere just in case.

So, l took my new tan on the road to Hilton Head, SC for our 10 day vacation. Didn't you wonder where I went?

We had a great time, as usual. This is the 6th year we've made the 12 hour drive. Sure, there was bitching and moaning being trapped in the car and dreaming of an exit on I-95 with a Starbucks, but the pain is worth it in the end when we see the sign that takes us to our home away from home.

David was like a boy obsessed this year. For one, he couldn't wait until he got the opportunity to go crabbing off the pier at the resort. He and hubby caught five blue crabs (catch and release), and they were in heaven. I particularly don't get the enjoyment of standing in the sun over a creek with fish smell lingering in the air, but to each is own.

Secondly, after David spent a week trying to make friends at the pool, he met a girl (insert oohs and aahs and curious eye rolling here). Is this when it starts, age 8?? Really? Goodness. Unfortunately, their courtship was short-lived.. she left the next day. However, he had a ball and I got a new friend too... her mother is the same age as myself and through conversation I found that she had her daughter via fertility treatment. We traded war stories, and it was really unexpected.  It was like meeting a mirror image of me, and so glad I got the opportunity to chat with her. Thank goodness for Facebook to stay in touch. Sadly, David is left only with a picture of himself and his new friend-  plotting how he might charter a boat to see his southern sweetie. I am still trying to help him understand that TN is not on the coast. lol.

We spent most of our days poolside, and if you follow me on Twitter, I posted a few pics along the way.

We were almost too lazy to spend time physically ON the beach. Too much preparing and effort. Plus, I admit it, I hate getting sandy.  Hate it.  However, we did take walks and collected seashells.

The thing I love about HHI is the relaxation factor. It's the only place I've vacationed where I feel truly rested.

After all the turbulence this year, I wanted that feeling more than ever. Problem is, once I shut down it's hard to boot back up. We got home on Monday and I've spent the last 48 hours walking into walls and navigating my foggy brain through the day.

The reality of being home was kind of a downer. You all know the feeling. Back to the grind, and to-do lists.

Speaking of  to-do's, I am making a doctor's appointment for myself this week. Been feeling off for the last few weeks and some oddness going on with my fingernails looking weird and my hair falling out in bunches (has been for the last 6 weeks). The hair loss is worrying me.  Really bad.  I am asking for a thyroid panel at my regular doctor when I get in, among other things. Surely, five years of shooting up hormones hasn't affected my endocrine system, right?!? I can only guess the crap my body is going to give to me now after putting it though so much over the years.

For naught of course.  Another post for another day.

So, I am back, sort of. Give me a minute and a latte and I will be ready to rock and roll.

Reality bites

Vacation was heavenly. The weather was fabulous. I had that kind of loosey goosey feeling like after a good massage.

And then we returned to reality. S. got some upsetting news from work regarding his future employment, and I was stuck in e-mail hell at work.  Welcome back.

I was hoping that the vacation feeling would have lasted longer than 12 hours after we arrived back in town... really, is that too much to ask???

Anyway, we did have a great time and I will tell you that the healing benefits of 24-hour pool time is better than anything short of a butler standing next to me handing me an icy-cold drink every 30 minutes.

It was ungodly hot and humid, but I was too relaxed to care. The only decisions I had were where to eat and what bathing suit to put on.

David had the time of his life... he was racing down the water slide and catching crabs in the creek with his Daddy. He built sandcastles, and had fun swimming with his grandparents.

**Dude in blue shirt is not Daddy. A nice bystander helped us pick up the crab for fear it would snap off our fingers. (No we are not expert crabbers by any stretch of the imagination. We basically caught the crab and yelled "HELP!!")

The only downside was I couldn't use my nifty new SLR camera because it couldn't hack the quick transition from cold AC to humid and thick air.

But the point and shoot camera served us just fine. Many memories to hold dear...

Is this the look of happiness or what???

Toes in the Sand

One more day of work. At 5pm today my vacation really arrives, and it can't come soon enough. I just cannot wait to pack up the car and get on the road.

If you follow me on Twitter or FB, I'll be posting pics and tweeting my way across 7 states for the forseeable future.

See y'all on the flip side...

Almost Paradise

How many of you saw the blog post title and thought of the song?

Whoa-oa
ALMOST PARADISE!
We're knocking on heaven's door
ALMOST PARADISE!
How could we ask for more?
I swear that I can see forever in your eyes
Paradise...

Ann Wilson and Mile Reno. That is such a high school flashback. I remember slow dancing with my then boyfriend to that song and my heart nearly beating out of my chest. Plus, it reminded me that my alter teenage ego wanted to be a dance partner to Kevin Bacon in Footloose. What the hell ever happened to Mike Reno anyway? Did he lose the headband? Is he still "working for the weekend"? bwahaha.

I'm off track now, aren't I?

Yes, it's been pretty quiet around here, and I am sorry for that. The summer is still in full swing here in the Northeast. Many of the kids are back in school already in other areas of the U.S., but we just finished up tutoring classes and finally can start having fun.

David is quite happy, but I am realizing more and more that the power to curb boredom and burnout is keeping him busy, and thus far it's not been a problem. Now that he's home with me (while I am working), it is VERY hard to keep him in a schedule.

Most of the days now are like this...

me working in my office for 30 minutes, then tending to him to get him set up with an activity, me working for 30 more minutes, getting him a snack, working, activity, working, outside for 30 minutes, working, cleaning up Play Doh, working, finding him a movie on Disney Channel, working, sorting crayons, working, channel surfing (YES!  I am trying to find Phineas and Ferb! be patient), working,...

you get the idea.

Paradise? ...oh right, where was I?

Soon we leave for an extended vacation in Hilton Head, SC.  I may not come back.  Every year S. and I stop and look at houses while we are down there, and one of these days.....

So, no matter how busy or frantic I am right now, or how many times I have to say "Shhhhuuusssh!" when David interrupts a conference call for work (DAMN, I can NEVER hit that mute button fast enough), I know that there is an end in sight.

Almost there...

29 Again

David has been attending a summer reading program at a local university, 4X a week in the AM. The class is geared for kids that need a little extra help with reading, and the goal is to bring them up to grade level (or exceed, which most of them do by the end of the clinic). The program is one of the best in the region where I live, and it's not that easy to get into it.

To get David in, I basically had the program's secretary on speed-dial from February onwards, and literally hand-delivered forms to ensure our paperwork was first in. Once accepted, the children are tested, and then separated into small groups (not more than 2 kids per tutor). The tutors are graduate students, mostly, and they work under several professors.

You may be wondering, "hey Shelli, how are you working if you are taking David to this class?"  Let me tell you, it puts a serious dent in my working schedule. I am basically M.I.A. from 8:30am to 11:15am. I'm sure my co-workers think I am working on a tan in the mornings.   Bonus! Major university.. no public wifi. That's right, no Internet connection. The closest wifi is at McDonald's about 4 miles away. Thank goodness I have a boss who understands and likes me.  Maybe she won't after this summer.

So I download my e-mail before we leave in the AM, and just spend the time doing what I can do offline while I wait.

The reality... I'll do whatever it takes to ensure David is successful in school. He had a rough year academically, and we are just catching up to grade level with the help of this course.  I am grateful every day I walk onto campus that David has this opportunity.

So, it's been three weeks into this course, and I am getting to know and talk to the other parents that are there.  Mostly moms, a sprinkling of dads.

Some observations:
1. Most of the moms that wait with me in the waiting area are teachers themselves, that is perplexing to me, somewhat, but I do get that they are hooked into the latest and greatest, and this is it. I guess even Moms who teach have their limits. lol.

2. The other moms are SAHM's and bored to tears. They are there because they just want their child in an activity that is learning focused. They make me jealous talking about their large swimming pools.

3. The tiger moms. I say "tiger" because, if I said "cougar" you might think they were there to troll for hot male grad students. But no, these are not older women (like me?) they are simply barracudas when it comes to their kids. By "barracuda" I mean, their kids already have reading skills above average... but they want their child to be THE BEST. IN. THE. UNIVERSE!!

That last observation sets me off. I mean, there are people who COULDN'T get in the program because these jack-o-lanterns (that's Mom speak for jackasses) push their kids way beyond center.  Argh, they are on the soccer field AND here too!!  groan.............

I am just so perturbed by that.

Annoyed.

So, here's a funny story about today in the waiting room. A dad sat down next to me... I thought he was a student, but he's like 30, with 4 kids.... hmmmmm.... did I mention he was extremely good looking? Anyway... we got to talking about what we do for a living, he saw my laptop, and eye-rolling commenced. I thought he was aiming at me (what did I do NOW?!), but he was actually eye-rolling the barracuda mom on the other side of the room PAINTING HER NAILS IN THE PUBLIC WAITING ROOM. To which he whispered, "are you the only normal mom here?" LOL.

It gets better.

He asked me about David, and then the loaded question... "do you have any more kids?"

Oh, no he didn't!  I was just starting to like this guy.

I evaded... no I didn't really... I think I just said... "no, but we wanted more." Then he started talking about someone he knew that just had twins and added "get this, can you believe she is 44 years old????"

I smiled (ok, I laughed in my head and almost peed myself). The I said, "well, I wished that had happened to me!"

To which he replied, "well, gosh your so young, you have time!"

bwahahahaha!

OMG. What did he just say???

This guy has NO FLIPPIN' IDEA that I am 42 years old.

Dude, you made my day....

BLESS YOU.

Photo Friday: Unexpected Love(s)

Last Friday, the family made our bimonthly expedition to the holy land, otherwise known as Target.

Let me tell you something about Target, it is pure shopping crack. You go there with a list of 3 items, and you leave with 23 items. I can get lost in the seasonal aisles for hours. I am pretty sure that the employees know me on sight, and FOR SURE the Starbucks guy in Target does. Please tell me your Target stores have Starbucks like mine....? it's heavenly. One of these days I am going to suggest they put my picture on the wall next to the store manager.   I'm that important to their monthly sales.

You wait and see.

Anyway, where was I? Oh, so we were shopping last Friday, and on a whim S. and I spotted a fire bowl. Truth be told, S. was looking for it. I was like, WHY do we need a freaking fire bowl for the patio? What IS a fire bowl?? Why not a chiminea?

Wait, what the hell is a chiminea?  Nah, we do fire bowls here.

Dude, it was ON SALE for $49, so we bought it! And I laughed thinking it was the most dumb, impulsive purchase ever from Target.

And you know what? It was the BEST money ever spent. We fired that baby up at 9pm Saturday night, and beers in hand (David had root beer) we toasted to our most AWESOME patio purchase.  We relaxed by the fire, sang silly songs, and pretended we were stranded on an island with just us and the mighty fire bowl.

We made wishes as the embers floated up to the heavens.

Most unexpected.

 

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If you would like to join in the fun of Photo Friday, catch the theme post for the week, and then post your own photo on Fridays and link back @ Calliope's blog.

1. Don't make lists

Stuck.

I feel like I am running on a treadmill with the steepest incline and getting nowhere. And the effort isn't even shrinking my ass. Talk about useless!

Every time I sit down to write this month, my eye wanders to a to-do list that gets longer and longer. I'm not sure what's gotten into me. I'm all about lists and completing them. Or I used to be. Nowadays I scan the list and become so overwhelmed I shove said list under a book and sit staring into space with no purpose.

ARGH! It's so frustrating.

I have four doctors appointments I need to schedule, and that's just for me. Somehow, I manage to get S. and David squared away with doctor visits, just not my own.

Summer... is a hot topic for me. No pun intended. I decided to NOT enroll David in a summer day camp program this year. He's had a bit of a rough year with school, so we decided to enroll him in a reading clinic at a local university. It's just an hour and a half in the AM for five weeks. Challenging for my work schedule as it's hard for me to just drop offline in the middle of the morning and be M.I.A. for a few hours. And you might be wondering how on earth I plan to work for the rest of the days... I am envisioning my laptop on the patio and buying dozens of outdoor games for David to occupy his time in the backyard. This summer I will be the Mom with the laptop and cellphone trying to juggle two months of a flying-by-the-seat-of-my-pants schedule. I don't want the boy sitting idle, summer should be about FUN after all, so I am a little nervous how I am going to swing it.

Adoption topic... is still a work in process. I am still investigating, interviewing with a few local agencies. We know for sure that our sights are set on a domestic adoption. At least we narrowed that down.  I have another appointment this month with an agency recommended to me. My stress and fear level goes through the roof when I think about this topic. Fodder for another post, because frankly.... it's too emotional to just pay lip service in this post.  So you must wait for news on that.

S.'s job... still up in the air. S-T-R-E-S-S-F-U-L. He has one, at least for another 30 days. By the end of summer we could be up the creek. I am being supportive for now. Big changes are coming whether we like it or not. We just don't know how it will flush out... yet.

Meanwhile, the house is in disarray. After 10 years in this house, we are forced to start upgrading all the builders-grade crap this house came with. And some.  Things are starting to fall apart, and we've been spending a lot of time at our local home improvement center. Some of the projects were willingly started by us, like the new front door we have on order (the current one is so warped I can see outside from the INSIDE!). Other projects are the result of things just breaking- the air conditioner, attic fan, bathroom fixtures. Oh, and a bundle of cash dropped last month for termite treatment. Yes, new houses can get termites. Think of me when you see the Termin.ix commercial with the bugs knocking on the door.  Hopefully, they won't come for YOU.  heh.

Fortunately, not a penny has been spent this year on infertility treatments. I am going to take that as a blessing that instead of trying to fix a broken ME, we are fixing a broken house instead.

At least that money is well spent.

Highs and lows

David just had his last day at summer camp. He often rambles on to anyone who will listen about his adventures this summer. Swimming, skating, bowling, dancing, and his visits to two zoos, two museums, one theme park, the "theater" to see a real stage production, and numerous trips to the ice cream shop and movie theater. He had a great time.

In two weeks he starts 1st grade. In the meantime, we will be ramping up for school and sharing some serious 1x1 time. I am scheduled to be off for the entire first week of his school so I can sit at home, bite my fingernails, and watch the clock while I wait for bus stop duty.

Next week also starts soccer, and soccer practices. Practice being a new thing this year since he's on the big boy team now that he's 6. Also means more work for me.

When I look at the upcoming calendar for the next few months, it looks overwhelming. I am having one of those moments when I wish I didn't have to work. In fact, I'm back to figuring out if I could swing a leave of absence. The money is not even half the issue (I could survive), it's the fear that I could be laid off in the meantime. Still hanging by a thread as always. S. is also still hanging by a thread at his work too. We try to ban "work talk" because it only depresses us.

Not a time to be part of the "out of sight, out of mind" equation, methinks...

I'm also trying to figure out where to go from here- as in, my mental state.

I am realizing that I have some major issues to deal with that perhaps I cannot solve on my own. I've never visited a therapist in my life (except for the mandatory ones for this past DE cycle). I'm not sure I can even afford one, but I do know that I am not myself anymore. This has been a cumulative effect and really has been building over the years. This last month (failure and scary moments) seems to have accelerated my feeling out of control.

I am sad, a lot of the time. I know that much of my state is temporary (or is SUPPOSED to be), but I am worried that I cannot lift myself out of my funk this time. I'm just not me.

Aaarggh.

... what to do, what to do...
I just don't know.

Where's my sword?

The Grandparents took David out on a day trip yesterday, and this is what he looked like when hubby and I picked him up:


That's some pretty serious face painting! Notice he is also in-character with his facial expressions. It was pretty darn cute. That is, until the paint made its way onto his hands, his shirt, his shorts.. the walls.... thank goodness it was washable.

Vacation: all I ever wanted

So, the BagMomma family is leaving for vacation this Friday to visit the House of the Mouse. Disneyworld.

Florida in the summer, are you clinically insane? ...Yep, I know what you are thinking.

Actually, we do have a timeshare (Disney Vacation Club), but we are paying our way on this trip because it's really cheap.

Cheap? Disney is not cheap. ...Yea, I see you rolling your eyes.

Au contraire, Disney is very cheap over Labor Day weekend. In fact, it's one if the best times (crowd-wise) to go to Disney.

And my company, offered this week package for a ridiculously low price which includes hotel and park tickets.

So we couldn't resist. We are even bringing the Grandparents (my Mom and Dad) to join in the merriment.

We pretty much go every year on the timeshare, but we used our point allotment for our Hilton Head, SC trip back in May... so we are taking a second vacation this year (unusual for us, but damn do I need it).

I'm sure David will have a ball. He's now at the perfect age to grasp the entire Disney-experience.

So if you happen to also be in Mouse territory next week, and you see a bunch of computer looking geeks there, it's the vacation week for the 'Big Blue' employees.

I however, AM NOT bringing my laptop.

no way, no how.

You'll find me with my family screaming like silly children on the Rockin' Rollercoaster. Or drinking the super-size beers at Germany in Epcot.

As my Dad would say, 24 hours of non-stop fun!

David and Daddy, c. 2006

Overheard at the BagMomma house

Subtitled: the decline of society in middle America and its effects on small children.

BACKGROUND

Our local news aired a segment last week regarding a story about drugs being sold from a Mr. Softee truck in Philadelphia. For those of you who aren't from the New York/Philly area, Mr. Softee is our version of the Good Humor Ice Cream truck. They are independently-owned ice cream trucks that troll the family neighborhoods selling frozen treats (not illicit drugs, lol). My son heard this newscast but we didn't talk about it. In fact, I thought he wasn't even paying attention to the TV. Fast forward to yesterday....

David: "I didn't get any Mr. Softee this weekend!"

S.: "We probably missed him when we were out, don't worry, he'll be back sometime this week with your chocolate ice cream."

David: "Nuh uh, Daddy. Mr. Softee is too busy selling drugs to bring my ice cream."


Oh my......What to say

The joys of summer

Last night, S. was "recalibrating" the sprinklers. In other words, sitting on the front step watching his grass grow.

David, also, watching the grass grow.... decided he wanted to test out the velocity of the water spraying out of each sprinkler.

He ended up running, rolling, and laughing in the grass. Soaking wet from head to toe.

aaahhhh, to be young again.....