Miserable Monday

Today has just been one of those Mondays.

David returned to school from his Spring Break, and at 7:30am I sat down in my office to get productive. Well, the joke was on me. I couldn't access my work network. Seems my company downloaded code (this is where I remind you I work for a technology company) that blew up my VPN network (which just means I can't get into anything!)

Four hours later on the phone with my company's tech support (I use that term loosely), I finally worked out the problem that chewed up half of my day. Once I logged in, it was as if the floodgates opened with problems.

Work is killing me again.

The only thing I like about it anymore is that I work from home. But recently, The Company (sounds so, Heroes.... doesn't it?) took away the option for me to expense my cable and phone. It's a squeeze play to get employees back into offices. Like I am sure that makes more sense to pay for REAL ESTATE instead of my $50 cable, but whatev...

Not only that but I've been busy documenting my job upon request of management.

Do you smell something fishy here?

On top of all of this, S. is about to lose his job. He works for The A.merican Aut.o Manu.facturer that is about to go under. His management was let go last week. We are counting the days.

I am terrified to lose both of our incomes.

My upbeat attitude went from WAY UP HERE to the bottom of the bucket now that the sh!t is hitting the fan. I hate to be worried, but it is all-consuming lately.

Did I mention I just got another bill from "deadbeat donor"? Was unexpected (I thought I paid to get her out of my head forever, but I was smacked with one more reminder of failure.)

Sigh.

Just one of those days.

Miley Cyrus, The Apocalypse, and the End of Infertility

You know the apocalypse is upon us when I say "Miley Cyrus" and "I cried" in the same sentence.

Are you ready?... I cannot stop crying when I hear that new song, "The Climb" from the overrated teen queen, Miley Cyrus.

You haven't heard it?? I defy any infertile to hear the song and not feel the need to shed a tear or two. Or a hundred.

There's always going to be another mountain
I'm always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes I'm gonna to have to lose,
Ain't about how fast I get there,
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb

Thank you Miley.

Speaking of celebrities (loosely), I also want to talk about Trista Sutter. Oh, you remember Trista, right? The Bachelorette that actually got married. I like her. She seems like a smart girl.

Anyway, let us dig deep into the BagMomma archives to a post I wrote several years ago, when Trista was talking about her two-year battle with infertility and how the Ov.Wa.tch. helped her get pregnant with her first child.

Then came child #2, soon after (wow, lucky dog!). And now, she's gettin' cozy with another company... (I hope she's getting paid) but this time she's AVOIDING pregnancy.

This got me to thinking. If you've battled infertility at all in your lifetime, and achieved your dream (whether it be 1, 2, or 10 children)... how comfortable would you be jumping into permanent birth control?

Does an infertile ever do that? Really???

I may be way off base, but I am thinking that anyone that's been though a very hard time conceiving wouldn't exactly be running to their OB/GYN to avoid pregnancy. I think I'd sooner jump bare-assed out of a plane with a poorly-packed parachute than do that. Maybe it's because I am not done yet, and the thought of any woman willingly cutting off their reproductive ability is directly mocking me.

Joking of course. Ok, not really.

Look, I don't disagree with it... I just find it.... odd.

If it were me making this decision (lol, like I EVER! will have to) I'd feel like I was playing with the devil. And the minute I really cut things off (so to speak) something would happen and I'd regret it. OR, the Gods (much in the same way they've been torturing me for all these years) would mock my smugness and impart bad juju to my family.

What say you, internet?

I know you all have got to have a lot of opinions on this.

Responsible family planning for infertile graduates, or the equivalent of 10 broken mirrors (70 years of bad luck)?

Don't try to pull one on me today

I don't think I've ever pulled an April Fool's joke on anyone, ever in my lifetime. Really.

But over the years, my gullible nature has made me fall prey to all sorts of tricks. My husband is the number one offender. He LOVES to pick on me. Most of the time it's because I am not aware that it even is April 1st until he plays some sort of lame joke and has his jollies. After which I smack him on the arm... "Hooooney! Please don't do that to me!"

I think he secretly loves it.

So, my awareness of April 1st today is on my mind front and center. I have my appointment to pick another donor today. Let's think about the coincidence of today being the day, shall we? Do you think it's a good or bad omen?

Oh, and for those of you glued to your TV's yesterday in anticipation of seeing my face plastered on GMA.... well, the bloggers were cut out for the most part except for one of my fellow writers. If you missed it, you can see the segment here.

Did you hear about this computer worm story? I think that's all it will amount to be...a story. Every once in awhile some mega-virus is looming, and nothing ever happens. Working in the field of technology, I can assure you that my company isn't very worried about it. So neither am I.

Lastly, I've finally given in to peer pressure and started reading the "Twilight" series of books. I'm halfway through book one, and still not seeing what all the rage is about. However, I wanted to read the books BEFORE I see the movie.

Movies always tend to ruin good books don't they?

Petulant Monday

Some random and totally unconnected thoughts for this Monday.
Are you ready? I am about to do a little ranting.

The Mortgage Mess
No, I'm not going all political on you. Well, maybe a little. I just have to get this off my chest.

Husband and I are refinancing our mortgage. Mainly because (hello!) rates are freaking low, AND we have a home equity loan (used for the infertility medical expenses) which carries a pretty hefty payment. Responsible citizens that we are, we are restructuring our loans because it makes financial sense.

So, I am watching a news show last night, curiously... about The Mortgage Mess. Perhaps you saw it too. Anyway, I am watching this show with my husband, and my blood starts to boil. This show features a few families "caught up in the housing meltdown", now destitute with their homes foreclosed. They are all playing the victim... THE MORTGAGE COMPANIES failed ME they say. THEY APPROVED ME FOR A LOAN I could NEVER AFFORD they say. I DIDN'T READ the LOAN paperwork, they say. The GOVERNMENT OWES ME, they say.

And I hit the roof. I am so freaking tired of people putting their mistakes on the backs of others. Anyone heard of PERSONAL responsibility? Do these people NOT have a family budget? If you clear $1,600 a MONTH in salary and were approved for a mortgage of $2,400 a month do you not have the brain cells to DO THE MATH???

And now, begins the bailout of these people who have NO RIGHT to be bailed out. And who pays for these folks making bad decisions? ME. I might as well stand out on the sidewalk in front of my house and hand out $100 bills. I am so incensed.

Way to teach your children the fine art of blaming others, my fellow citizens.... ! Way. to. go.


The Annoying Soccer Moms
If I need to overhear one more conversation between ungrateful Moms complaining about their kids, I am just going to lose it. I was hoping a random soccer ball would fly up and knock some perspective into their small heads. The have no idea how fucking lucky they are.


...ok, rants done. Ooooh, I feel better.


The End of the World
I live between two major Air Force Bases. My house isn't on a direct flight path for the commercial jets so it's unusual to hear air traffic 'round these parts. When we do, it's military planes and helicopters. But not often. To me, they are distinct because they are so LOUD. Anyway, all weekend, there's been something going on in the skies above my town. Specifically, the last two nights I thought The War of the Worlds was outside my window. Do military planes do training at night? I swear it's so bizarre.

I know one of my blogging friends who have significant others in the military might offer up a comment on this. Please do... is it Training Week or something? Or should I be looking out for giant Octopus looking creatures? lol.

Down to the Two Minute Warning

I helped S. install our new sink (which is working now) and as we finished cleaning up I tuned into the Diane Sawyer special about Randy Pausch, who passed away this past weekend.

Now, unless you've been living under a rock the last year, you know this guy's story. Diagnosed with cancer, he gave the speech of his life in front of students, faculty and friends of Carnegie Mellon University after learning of his diagnosis.

When I tell you I bawled though the news special last night, I am not exaggerating.

Here was a guy that faced death straight in the face, and instead of lying down... he embraced life, and left a lasting legacy to his family.

There was a point in the broadcast where he had talked about cancer in relation to a football analogy...

"Sometimes you walk off the field and the scoreboard didn't end up the way you wanted , [but] you knew you gave it all...and the other team was too strong. I'm not going to beat [cancer]...but we have no regrets... sometimes you're just not going to beat [it].. but you want to walk off the field saying 'no regrets' I gave it my best shot."

This statement was so powerful, and so poignant. A million things went though my head.

And it dawned on me that though these last few years I've been straddling that line... attempting to create new life while always mourning the lives lost along the way. Each dead baby a reminder that I can't control the score.

Fighting and losing over and over, and simultaneously fearing that the time clock is running out.

Death, in all forms, sucks.

Safety in Numbers

I've been a reader of Kathy's Blog, Pink Martinis, for some time now. Like many of us she is concerned about the litany of information clogging the internet, televisions, and print publications reporting on the safety concerns and issues for children in our lives.

Nowadays, we practically need to take on a part-time job just trying to disseminate information and Googling when we should be spending time with our families.

Kathy has developed Safe Mama, a site that combines tons of information on child safety, product recalls, health and well-being resource for parents, for anyone who has a child in their life (as a Mom, Dad, Aunt, Uncle, Grandparent, and so on). She plans on extending it to include much more info about safety with plastics, baby gear and organic and eco-friendly topics too.

Spread the word! Let's face it. It's hard to keep up on all the current news and warnings. We are all in this together, and sites like ours here, Kathy's, and others can keep the education and information flowing!

Cross posted at Moms Speak Up

Blogging Granny

It's Friday, you made it!

This has been a looooong week, but before I disappear into my real work today, I had to share this with you.

I came across this fine gem yesterday about the OLDEST blogger. I thought it was me, but who knew???

This sweet woman is 108 years old, and she's still got a lot to say! Check it out:

Oldest Blogger at 108 Years Old

You know what that means, right? I have at least another 68 years left of blogging in me. lol.

Taking action: Breast Cancer Awareness Month

One of the things I am passionate about is doing whatever I can to promote knowledge and awareness of breast health and cancer prevention. Cancer (especially breast cancer) has touched the lives of my immediate family and several close friends.

I coordinate (along with 4 other "fabulous" women) an annual fundraiser luncheon which joins survivors, friends, and family for an afternoon of hope and sharing. We just had our annual luncheon in August, and we raised thousands of dollars for The American Cancer Society.

October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. You've probably already known about this, saw a banner in a blog, received a note from a friend, participated in a walk or run, or any of the many other ways the word is passed.

From one woman blogger to another, I encourage you to acknowledge this month in your own way.

Visit The Breast Cancer Site and click to provide needed mammography services to others.

If you don't know how, or just haven't done it lately, perform a breast self exam.

Remind a mother, sister, aunt, or friend to schedule their yearly mammogram.

Provide a donation to the American Cancer Society

No matter what you do, just do it!

If we all did one thing to focus attention on the issue of breast cancer... imagine what could be possible.


Cross-posted at Moms Speak Up

Overheard at the BagMomma house

Subtitled: the decline of society in middle America and its effects on small children.

BACKGROUND

Our local news aired a segment last week regarding a story about drugs being sold from a Mr. Softee truck in Philadelphia. For those of you who aren't from the New York/Philly area, Mr. Softee is our version of the Good Humor Ice Cream truck. They are independently-owned ice cream trucks that troll the family neighborhoods selling frozen treats (not illicit drugs, lol). My son heard this newscast but we didn't talk about it. In fact, I thought he wasn't even paying attention to the TV. Fast forward to yesterday....

David: "I didn't get any Mr. Softee this weekend!"

S.: "We probably missed him when we were out, don't worry, he'll be back sometime this week with your chocolate ice cream."

David: "Nuh uh, Daddy. Mr. Softee is too busy selling drugs to bring my ice cream."


Oh my......What to say

Yes, the world may very well be ending

Let me just say that living in an area of the country with few(er) meteorological events has its advantages most of the time.

No earthquakes here.. few tornadoes. Not much in the way of weather on a normal day in New Jersey.

However, I have to say that this Nor'easter currently (still) kicking our butts here in the Northeast has been powerful, scary, and sorta like Cybill.... a mind of her own with multiple personalities.

It has rained for more than two days. When I say rain, I don't mean the on and off variety... we're talking driving rain.... since the night before last. It just never stopped.

Our street has been a river. I swore I saw ducks gliding down it like it was the river rapids ride at the local theme park.

In the last 8 hours, SNOW and sleet. Again, not the light variety.

I stopped at Dunkin Donuts this morning and got soaked just opening the window at the drive-thru.

We (me, hubby and David) were awake most of the night. The wind, sleet, hail worrying. I feel like the house is going to lift off the foundation and (ala Wizard of Oz) and spin off into the atmosphere.

And, I should mention... I took the day off today to go shopping for our upcoming vacation in two weeks. Yeah, geeeeeeez.

Figures.

I guess I'll go clean my closet instead. Maybe I'll find an unused Coach bag I forgot about.

Sorta like treasure hunting for Moms on the day the world is coming to an end.

Or something like that.

Random thoughts

You know I can't let the week end without acknowledging that my pick to leave American Idol was dead on. Of course, it didn't take a rocket scientist to figure that one out.
Sorry Haley.

Moms, look out.. another recall alert. This time it's Listerine Agent Cool Blue mouthwash. If you have any, THROW IT OUT. But before you do, make sure you send in for a refund. I happen to have this (David had just started using it), hopefully no ill effects. Just sent in for my refund today.

It's a good weight loss day too. I lost 3 lbs. this week. Woo hoo! That, despite indulging in my sister-in-laws HEAVENLY easter treat, home-made Spinach & Artichoke dip.
J.- I have the Rachael Ray recipe... but I want the one you used on Sunday too..... yummy!

I am spending today tweaking my new company issued laptop. I thought I had transferred all my data over, but alas, I am not finished. After another hour or two of pulling my hair out trying to be the technology techie I've never been meant to be (hey, I work in the industry.. doesn't mean I know everything).....I should be done.... heh.
I feel like a CIA agent now, my laptop has fingerprint recognition technology.
How cool is that?????

Random thoughts

Sigh... another day, another week with Sanjaya. lol. I am not surprised that Stephanie was eliminated on AI last night, but Chris was in the bottom TWO? Are you kidding me?????

Happy Birthday Mr. Rogers. You were a big part of my childhood, and I wish you were still around for my son's. Children's programming has never been the same.

And the poor get poorer. Christ, you can't even count on a teacher to be a child's role model anymore.

Come on, group hug all around!

Free Starbucks!

Next Thursday, on the 15th... "March" (hehe) yourself over to your nearest Starbucks for FREE coffee!

Starbucks will be holding their 2nd annual Coffee Break between 10am and 12pm.

What could be better?

Random thoughts

It's Monday.... President's Day. Do you have off for this fine holiday? I don't. It's just another working day for me. But if you do have a vacation day today, enjoy it!

David was sick over the weekend. He had a low-grade fever, and spent most of the weekend puking. Poor little guy. Yesterday, he spent the better part of the day curled up with me on the recliner. Feeling much better today though.

Poor Britney, has that girl lost her flippin' mind? I guess if you are rich and famous, having a rough patch in life is a paparazzi dream. Girl needs a mentor. Someone to smack her back into reality.

I am geek enough to say that I am anticipating the next installment of Dancing With the Stars. It's a guilty pleasure. Rumor has leaked out that "90210" star Ian Ziering and *NSYNC member Joey Fatone are two of the celebs joining this season.

On a personal note, I lost 3 lbs. at Weight Watchers this week! Cheers to me.

It took them since last August to figure this out??

So, I'm half-listening to Good Morning America this morning, and I hear there's a recall on Peter Pan peanut butter.

hmmm, I think.... I just opened a new jar of Peter Pan.

Salmonella! I hear

People hospitalized!

still typing my e-mail, half listening...

I hear the lot number in question...

I happen to walk into the kitchen, and look at the jar just for kicks (because I am never, ever affected by a recall) and,

holy smokes! I have a jar of salmonella peanut butter!

Then it dawns on me that I sent David to school with an infected sandwich.

Crud.

So, I call the school, tell them to throw out the sandwich. No problem, they say. They are doing pizza today anyway since they are having a belated valentine's day party today (school was closed yesterday from the ice storm we had here).

Disaster averted.

I know David is probably so mad right now, because next to chicken nuggets and broccoli his favorite food is PB&J.

Read about the recall here, and check those jars!
Peanut Butter recall

Mommy blogging: the good, the bad, the tragically hip

James Poniewozik just penned an article for Time magazine, titled
Too Cool for Preschool

In it, he talks about what he calls "the new species of chatty dad and mom: the hipster parent-memoirist."

Are mommy and daddy bloggers like me doing a disservice to our little ones by putting their life moments on display?? on, (gasp) the internet??

I don't think so. My writing is about me and my life, my struggles as a working mom/wife, my thoughts (on *many* things as you already know), and my son is a big part of who I am.

I will continue to blog, and I hope that my memories (funny/serious) give David a viewpoint of who I am (and who I was). I would hope he wouldn't be embarrassed of me, but you know what... kids being embarrassed by their parents is nothing new.
A tale as old as time....

The fact is, I was born into the generation of technology. My son, even more so. It's the way of the world, and I don't think blogging is a passing fad, it's here today and probably will only be replaced by newer and bigger ways for people to share and collaborate.

And on the subject of living our lives through our kids, when is that new? I would imagine if you are an artist your child may have a better appreciation of the art world than another. It is what it is. Whether you are hip/not hip, the natural tendency for parents to live a little of what they loved/missed as a child is nothing new either.

My husband buys our son Harley Davidson shirts all the time, because it's my husband's hobby, and David loves to wear those shirts, because they represent Daddy, and something Daddy loves.

David knows most of the words to the songs of my U2 collection, he knows mommy loves to carry "so many" purses (that's his lingo), and he can spot a Saturn car on the road because his Daddy works for Saturn.

As far as "hipness" as a parent, if I am does that make my kid hip too? Perhaps, but consider this...

If you spend a lot of time listening to the Sex Pistols, why wouldn't your kid? "Hipness" really doesn't matter... children get joy from things their parents enjoy. No one is purposefully raising a child to be "hip". We raise our kids in the only way we know how, and children have a knack for emulating their parents because that's just nature.

Labelling should be avoided at all costs, because we all know where that road leads don't we?

Lots to think about.

Wow, didn't you know you are famous?

I am getting a little annoyed at the evening "entertainment" shows.

Ok... really annoyed.

I am okay if they want to do story after story on the supposed "anorexic" celebrities. I don't care about the anorexic celebrities. Really, I don't. Whatever floats your boat. I guess when you have money, it's appropriate to starve yourself, and the logic in that just doesn't add up for me... but to each is own.

I say, go eat a donut.

Hell, I'll have it for you, Mary Kate, Nicole, Kate... in fact, I'll have one for each of you.

However, the thing that has outraged me lately is the stories these "entertainment" shows give airtime to... Real people with issues. People who are NOT entertainers. No-names like me. People that need medical intervention... not a camera in their face.

Case in point, the recent story "The Insider" kicked to death on the two Australian twins who were anorexics. Will they live? Will they die? Let's watch then eat a meal, let's send a (formerly) anorexic celebrity to show them the light to a good burger!!! Let's see if they die while we are broadcasting their story! Great ratings!

I cringed at this, what the hell? THAT is entertainment??? Must have been a slow month with no recently "weight-outed" celebs.

Recently, they did it again.... covering a "news" story about a 5 yr old little girl who weighs 400 pounds. They show her struggling to move, breath, sit. The cameras zoom in on her face, trying to make a case that they are "sad" for her. Between the TV lines, you can just hear the message being delivered. Poor fat girl, look at her family, what do you expect? Circus side-show and all... tragic.

Even Dr. Phil would have offered the family some help.

I was so pissed at this segment I stopped watching the show, so I don't know the end of the story.

But let me say this to CBS, who supports these type of stories on celeb-driven news shows. You suck. There are better ways to make a dime.

I won't spend another moment viewing your "entertainment". Instead of exposing people to your version of low-brow stories and calling it entertainment, why don't you take a step back and do something really innovative...

Deliver celebrity news. You're just so good at that.

Don't call him Sir Bono

Bono was bestowed a knighthood by Queen Elizabeth II (although he can't use the title "Sir" since he's not a Brit). [Bono is one of the few men that just makes me swoon!]

I love this guy to death, does he not have a bad bone in his body or a skeleton somewhere in the closet?? If only all celebs used their starpower as handily as Bono....

See article here>>>
http://www.eonline.com/news/article/index.jsp?uuid=ca40b44e-fc07-4cc6-8304-132989a06cc9

Photo from U2.com

Newsflash: Yellow Wiggle

A couple of my mommy friends saw my previous post on Greg Page (the now former yellow Wiggle). Click on the heading above for news on his condition.

He's obviously not well, but not one step into the grave either. He was replaced by "Sam", who will be the new yellow Wiggly family member.

And, for your enjoyment... a tribute to Greg.... set to the music of Coldplay... "Yellow" of course.