A warm wind blowing

"... it's been such a long time, and I really do miss your smile."

Bonus points if you know what line that song is from. (also, a hint in the title of this post).

So I've been implementing changes over the last week. Getting my life in order. First order of business was getting my ass back on the healthy eating train. I really blew it over the holidays. I fully admit to drowning my sorrows in lots of high fat and carbs. I figured I earned it. No holiday cookie was safe in my eyesight.

I had stopped my vitamin regimen as well. And exercise was non-existent.

Let's see, poor diet, no exercise, depression. Check. Even my hair was falling out again, no doubt from the withdrawal of copious amounts of fertility drugs that have invaded my system the last few years.

Yep, I am in pretty bad shape.

Beyond the mental, I need to also work on the physical. So I am back to eating sensibly and back to my favorite hangout (weight w.atchers). Taking my vitamins again. My hair FINALLY is growing in and staying in. I also got my Wii Fit hooked up and easing myself back into exercise. Contemplating going to a gym, but not getting too far ahead of myself.... I mean, Rome wasn't built in a day.

And I have plenty of time on my hands.

My body is no longer a trash heap.  I've made countless commitments to getting healthy, but honestly, I think now is the perfect time to really get down to business.

If you want to follow my progress, I'll be posting over here at a new blog focusing just on my weight loss and exercise journey.  

No worries...  I'll still be here, at BagMomma, providing deep contemplative thought along with bad humor.  I just need to have a place to fully immerse my new project. 

It's nice to feel....  engaged again.

And so begins my 41st year on earth

I actually have a rather meaty donor update for a change.

Donor had her Day 3 blood work and ultrasound yesterday, which went "fabulous" according to Nurse T. That means the uterus is looking fine, and the antral count, well, quite suitable and plentiful for a 22 year old.

Can we stop for a moment and reflect on the fact that I may be receiving eggs from someone TWENTY years younger than me? Ok... 19. I don't want to age myself that much.

Yes, my 41st birthday was yesterday. But between us, I'm calling myself 39 again. lol.

So now we await the results from the infectious disease screening this week, and if that's good we pass the second hurdle. Last mandatory step is her psych evaluation in two weeks, and if that hurdle is cleared too, she can begin meds.

From my end? I am to start BCP's in a few days.

And wait.

[insert crickets chirping here]

lol.

It's interesting to view an DE IVF cycle from the recipient's perspective. I'm just waiting by the phone. A whole lot of nuthin' going on.

Except, my weight that is. I'm down another 2 pounds this week, for a total of 17!

Now, THAT is exciting.

Trivialities

It's Friday, and I've had a long week at work, so forgive me for these most random thoughts.

I don't know if I mentioned it here (I did a few weeks ago over here), but I started W.eight W.atchers again. I cashed in on my head start (being sick after the holiday), and went into serious detox mode. Lost 5 pounds on my own, and another 8 since. My quick goal before starting my DE cycle was to drop as much weight as I could, and basically get myself to a healthier place.

To my surprise, I've been hanging in there. And after two weeks of hard-core detoxing, I must report I am feeling wonderful. My energy is back again! It's as is I flipped a light switch. Who knew? It was just the right time, and the right place of mind for me to do this. I am eating foods I never would have touched before. It seems a radical approach, BUT it is working for me right now.

David is having a great time @ basketball. The first practice was, well, hard for him. He seriously needed some help dribbling. But one basketball purchase later from T.arget, (and some practice time in with his Mom the "former teen basketball queen"), he is doing a lot better and loving the game. He especially loves the warm-ups (as evidenced to the right>>>>)


Also, I've been obsessing over something that is driving me crazy lately, and it has nothing to do with infertility (surprise!). It's my anonymity as a blogger. I am slowly coming to grips that some people might find me on the web whether I want them to or not. Either that or I need to drop every social networking tool. lol. Check out my latest post on New Jersey Moms Blog )and you'll read what I'm talking about.

Last but not least, next week I should hear something (in the form of a schedule) from the RE on the donor. She has an appointment on Tuesday to get the ball rolling.

That's it from here! Have a great weekend friends!

One "100 Calorie Snack Pack" away from blowing it

The devil exists in my pantry. It comes in the form of sweet, sometimes salty, often chocolaty, and definitely unfulfillingly addictive delights.

The 100-Calorie Snack.

I would like to publically thank the Large Food Companies for totally ruining my diet. Because it's a lot like that old potato chip commercial...

"Betcha can't eat just ONE!"

If you were to look in my garbage can in my office you would see a sight. Empty foil wrappers and crumbs. Reminants of 200-300-400-1,000 calories down the drain.

It's a conspiracy.

I should just go back to buying large bags of C.hee.tos.

At least I wouldn't be contributing gazillions of foil wrappers into the massive un-ecofriendly trash dumps.

So much for portion control.

I heart carbs

After I dropped off David at daycare for his field trip today (he's going to a gymnastics class) I promptly drove to Dunkin Donuts for my usual coffee. Today I got a bagel (I've been trying to lay off the morning bagel habit) and I was sad to discover it wasn't what I ordered.

Bleh.

It's certainly a message from above to STOP BUYING BAGELS.

I am in this constant state of war with carbs. They are my mortal enemy. But instead of going on some wacky low carb diet (which I would NEVER be good at since carbs are my life) I decided to just try to cut down on them. Have a yogurt instead of a bagel for breakfast. Skip the superfluous rolls and bread for lunch and dinner.

Sleeping with the enemy, that's really what it is.

Last night, I made dinner for the BagMomma house. Parmesan-crusted chicken with two veggies (neither of them potatoes). S. says... "where's the stuffing?" I say, "we are not having stuffing."

S. looked at me with the look of perplexed fear. "why?"

"Because carbs are killing us."

And you know what? After dinner I had a peach for a snack and when I woke up this morning my stomach was grumbling like it hadn't had a speck of food in days.

I was HUNGRY. Which led me to the state I am in this morning.

Annoyed because my bagel was cinnamon-raisin and I wanted Sesame, gosh darn it.

Offending bagel was 86'ed in the trash. I drank a yogurt smoothie and had another peach.

.....Till we meet again CARB......

probably at lunch.

Toxic Thursday

I was hungry this morning. My bagel-fix from Dunkin Donuts just didn't do it for me. So, I stood in front of the refigerator with the door open, waiting for something to yell, "over heeeeere! eat me!"

and I decided that sharp cheddar cheese was the way to go. You know, those individually wrapped pieces of loveliness that is cheese.

I love cheese.

So anyway, I sit down at my desk and open up the wrapping, fully expecting my mouth to feel satisfied once I chowed down.

But no.

Something did not taste right. It was bad, very bad.

And then I did the most un-ladylike thing I've done in ages, I spit it out right on the set of reports I was reviewing for work. My gross profit reports, ruined.

My cheese was in a very bad state of moldly toxic yuckiness. Green and yellow crud....and fuzz! ewwwwwwwwwww!!!

After two teeth brushings and countless gargling of listerine, I checked out the rest of the package of cheese- in date, white, seemingly ok.

I guess there is always a bad apple in the bunch.

That's what I get for snacking in-between meals. Damn you diet fairies. I was not cheating, it was only 3 points!