29 Again

David has been attending a summer reading program at a local university, 4X a week in the AM. The class is geared for kids that need a little extra help with reading, and the goal is to bring them up to grade level (or exceed, which most of them do by the end of the clinic). The program is one of the best in the region where I live, and it's not that easy to get into it.

To get David in, I basically had the program's secretary on speed-dial from February onwards, and literally hand-delivered forms to ensure our paperwork was first in. Once accepted, the children are tested, and then separated into small groups (not more than 2 kids per tutor). The tutors are graduate students, mostly, and they work under several professors.

You may be wondering, "hey Shelli, how are you working if you are taking David to this class?"  Let me tell you, it puts a serious dent in my working schedule. I am basically M.I.A. from 8:30am to 11:15am. I'm sure my co-workers think I am working on a tan in the mornings.   Bonus! Major university.. no public wifi. That's right, no Internet connection. The closest wifi is at McDonald's about 4 miles away. Thank goodness I have a boss who understands and likes me.  Maybe she won't after this summer.

So I download my e-mail before we leave in the AM, and just spend the time doing what I can do offline while I wait.

The reality... I'll do whatever it takes to ensure David is successful in school. He had a rough year academically, and we are just catching up to grade level with the help of this course.  I am grateful every day I walk onto campus that David has this opportunity.

So, it's been three weeks into this course, and I am getting to know and talk to the other parents that are there.  Mostly moms, a sprinkling of dads.

Some observations:
1. Most of the moms that wait with me in the waiting area are teachers themselves, that is perplexing to me, somewhat, but I do get that they are hooked into the latest and greatest, and this is it. I guess even Moms who teach have their limits. lol.

2. The other moms are SAHM's and bored to tears. They are there because they just want their child in an activity that is learning focused. They make me jealous talking about their large swimming pools.

3. The tiger moms. I say "tiger" because, if I said "cougar" you might think they were there to troll for hot male grad students. But no, these are not older women (like me?) they are simply barracudas when it comes to their kids. By "barracuda" I mean, their kids already have reading skills above average... but they want their child to be THE BEST. IN. THE. UNIVERSE!!

That last observation sets me off. I mean, there are people who COULDN'T get in the program because these jack-o-lanterns (that's Mom speak for jackasses) push their kids way beyond center.  Argh, they are on the soccer field AND here too!!  groan.............

I am just so perturbed by that.

Annoyed.

So, here's a funny story about today in the waiting room. A dad sat down next to me... I thought he was a student, but he's like 30, with 4 kids.... hmmmmm.... did I mention he was extremely good looking? Anyway... we got to talking about what we do for a living, he saw my laptop, and eye-rolling commenced. I thought he was aiming at me (what did I do NOW?!), but he was actually eye-rolling the barracuda mom on the other side of the room PAINTING HER NAILS IN THE PUBLIC WAITING ROOM. To which he whispered, "are you the only normal mom here?" LOL.

It gets better.

He asked me about David, and then the loaded question... "do you have any more kids?"

Oh, no he didn't!  I was just starting to like this guy.

I evaded... no I didn't really... I think I just said... "no, but we wanted more." Then he started talking about someone he knew that just had twins and added "get this, can you believe she is 44 years old????"

I smiled (ok, I laughed in my head and almost peed myself). The I said, "well, I wished that had happened to me!"

To which he replied, "well, gosh your so young, you have time!"

bwahahahaha!

OMG. What did he just say???

This guy has NO FLIPPIN' IDEA that I am 42 years old.

Dude, you made my day....

BLESS YOU.

More good news (for a change)

Well, things are starting to look up in the BagMomma house.

We finally received the long-awaited call we thought would never come... a spot opened up for David at the local Catholic School. We are ecstatic! This was our first choice, and we are so happy that we don't have to use our Plan B ($$ Private School) or Plan C (Half-Day Public School).

Could the tide be turning??? Could GOOD LUCK be just around the corner?

I guess we'll see. But for now, it's happy times around here.

Bittersweet

Today my big boy graduated from Pre-K.

Soon, he will leave the teachers and caregivers he's grown to love over the last 4 years and venture into a new future.

Well done, Mr. David.

Get out! They LEARN there??

You're tiring over my education ramblings, I know.

Oh, how I wish I could turn back time to two weeks ago, when positivity was all around. Life was looking up.

And then........ well....... you know.

So this kindergarten thing has served a purpose. It has taken my mind off of wallowing in self pity from the miscarriage.

It gave me a MISSION. A GOAL.

I've been to two private schools since my last post. One good (more on that in a sec) and one I didn't feel good about. I have one more appointment on Saturday. So far, I've put down one check for registration as of today. We may or may not end up at this school, but I wanted a sure thing, so I got it if I want it.

You know what was weird researching these schools, visiting and asking questions? I came to the realization that Kindergarten nowadays is far more academic than I imagined.

Oh pshaw, Shelli..... you didn't know that???

In my mind, I knew it, sure. I am so used to going to David's Pre-K school, and seeing him mostly playing and having fun, with a secondary emphasis on academia. The school he is at now goes by the belief "Learning through play"... which is a common one among daycares and preschools.

But when I toured this particular new school yesterday (which I subsequently went back today and put down my check) I was... I don't know...scared.

This school offers an environment that is vastly different. Sure, there's still playground time (and art, and music), but the class time is serious. I saw 17 five year olds sitting at little tables with books, and papers and #2 pencils. Smiling and raising their hand rather than jumping out of their seat and yelling for Cheez-Its.

And I panicked.

Is David ready for this?

So I asked my questions, talked to the teachers and some of the students who seemed five going on fifteen. Ok, I exaggerating. They were well-behaved, intelligent little people that looked like they LOVED learning.

LOVED IT.

And it stirred very odd emotions in me.

My baby is going to be FIVE in May. And in September he is going to SCHOOL, not daycare. He is going to LEARN. And WRITE and READ. Jeez, he could be writing a symphony by first grade for all I know.

Good lord, this just dawned on me. And I know you are probably reading this and laughing at my oversight.

So check in hand, I also made an appointment to bring David in for a pre-test in April. Placement, if you will. Because at this school they have THREE levels of Kindergarten. Which I liked the idea of. Because it allows the child to learn at the pace comfortable for them.

So it was an eye opening day. We are not 100% on this school yet, but it's a start.

Moving along...

It's distressing to look at the state of my life.

From the outside in, I must look like a total hot mess. Not of Britney Spears proportion or anything, please. Despite some major setbacks, I still can appear that I have my shit together, even though I am one latte away from a major freakout.

Regarding my rant yesterday on the education issues.... I am a little calmer and have a plan D, E, and F in place. I e-mailed the Principal of said Catholic school, and fell on the sword. My Mom-in-law helped with the all-out assault, and she too contacted Ms. Principal. We found out that David is in the top three of the waiting list, and my willingness to throw down a $500 donation to the church would have helped (before decisions were made), but now is of little value.

Yeah, that freaks me out a bit. And more so when I happened to chat to the co-director of the school David is in now.. she mentioned that her nephew was just accepted to this same school. Her sister is not a parishioner. That pissed me off. Because it means that there really was no priority given to parishioners like me, and Ms. Principal chose students only on the basis of the "squeaky wheel" theory.

I was ready to mount my attack. But cooler heads prevailed, and I have resigned myself to the fact that if they don't want us, they are missing one great opportunity and a great kid. Whatever will be will be.

In the meantime, I setup some appointments with two other private schools (tomorrow, and Saturday) for a grand tour. These two schools *may* have space available, but I need to check out the atmosphere, curriculum, teachers, and most importantly the price. Both have non-refundable registration fees, but they are less than $100 each, so if I like what I see I may just register and have it in my back pocket. After all of this, I am willing to gamble $200 for some peace of mind. Otherwise I'll be a total mess until the end of the summer.

Also, for those of you who have e-mailed me on the info I was seeking on RPL testing, THANK YOU! Keep the notes coming! You guys have given me some great hints and ideas to check out. I am so grateful for this community.

Amongst all of this drama, hubby and I are also renewing our research into adoption. I've been poking around with a lot of my blogging buddies on that subject as well, so if you are in the process of adoption, I'd love to hear from you. We are still leaning towards Int'l adoption, but I'm not ruling out anything at the moment.

Lastly, a bit of more sad news..... I never have enough it seems. My Grandmother (my Dad's Mom) is gravely ill and not expected to recover. She is in the hospital (has been for the last month or so). I have a sort of unusual relationship with my Dad's parents over the years (I was never as close to them as I was with my Mom's parents). A long story for another time......
however I do wish a peaceful ending to the situation for my Grandmother, and prayers to my Grandfather that he can be strong through this. But mostly, I am thinking about my Dad. He has shouldered much of the care (and drama) over the last few years, and I know how difficult a decision he has along with my Aunts and Uncles.

Sheesh, it's only Tuesday and I feel like it should be the end of the week.

My goal for today is to take deep breaths and try to remain serene.

With everything going on, I'm still surviving.

The booby prize

Oh my.

After last week's events, you'd think I would have run out of bad luck.

But no.

Remember awhile back when I registered David for the local Catholic school? I stood out in the freezing cold, attended an open house, even created a cover letter professing my dedication to the church?

Well, we got the letter on Saturday that he didn't get in. I burst into tears. I really wanted him to attend that school. David really wanted to go there too.

Worse yet, I had been putting Plan B into motion (checking out the local private schools for a full day kindergarten program). Turns out they are on waiting lists too. I'm still looking, and it's not going well.

Which leaves me with Plan C (or as I like to call it, the booby prize). Public school.

I don't have a problem with the public school per se, except the fact that it's not even a true half-day. My township offers split sessions (8:45 to 11:15 or 1:15 to 3:45). That's a 2.5 hour school day!! WTF? What math are they using??? That's not HALF DAY at all.

On top of that, you don't know which session you get until two weeks before the first day of school. Kind of inconvenient in setting up before/after care. Make that IMPOSSIBLE. Worse yet, I would end up spending a significant part of my work day carting David around. To somewhere. Where I don't know. It's too short a day to drive him to where he goes now (25 minutes away). I would be sure to be fired from my job considering I would essentially be driving all day.

More than anything, I just want stability for David. I want him in one place, one educational and nuturing environment. He deserves that.

I've lost sleep the last two nights over this. I just wanted ONE THING to go easy. But no, of course not.

I need this black cloud over my head to GO AWAY.

Seriously, what the hell is going on with me??

And you thought I was stooopid

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In other news, it's 6dpiui and I had my luteal check this AM. All is well, just another week of waiting. I didn't have to do the booster hcg shot... because last month I found out I was allergic to the generic version. Did I forget to mention this? My arm swelled up like a balloon. ooops. At least I am not allergic to Ovidrel.

And, I must tell you that I had a really nice tour of David's (I hope will be) new school for kindergarten. The atmosphere was great, the staff professional, and the kids just seemed to love it there. I was surprised at the technological advances in the classrooms. Laptops everywhere, and no blackboards. Well, let me rephrase that, there were blackboards, but they started using a new technology last year where they have these "Smartboards".... think Blackboard-sized computers that you can write/draw on and such. And I do love the religious aspect. I thought I was showing up for the 2 cent tour, but it actually was an entire half day of meeting the faculty and students. What was really cool, is the staff encouraged us to ask questions to the kids in the various classes (K-8). The kids were honest. It was funny, informative and pretty awesome.

Then, the buzzkill. Tuition is increasing 35% by 2010-11 (to coincide with the local diocese's plan...so each Catholic school in the region will eventually have the same tuition). I could handle that, not surprising. What isn't getting more expensive?

But then, the big question at the end of the day... how does the school choose students if the amount of registrations exceeds slots available? The Principal noted that first dibs goes to current families already in the school with siblings.... then parishioners, then ????

??? being they didn't elaborate. Reading between the lines, it means knowing someone that makes the decision is probably helpful. We are parishioners, we were married there (at the church), David was baptized there, and hubby's family have been members since 1976. You would think that puts us ahead of the game, but it doesn't. Because there are a ton of parents that have the same background we do. Yeah, our town is pretty small in ways.

So, it's time to find an angle. I guess it's true you will do anything when it comes to the well-being of your children. I am the kind of person that stays in the rules and doesn't mow people over. Sweetness and kindness have been my strengths, and I don't need to be that boisterous and overbearing parent.

Nope not me.

However, I foresee some buttering up of the staff is in order. I've got two weeks before registration day to work this out. ;-)