1. Don't make lists

Stuck.

I feel like I am running on a treadmill with the steepest incline and getting nowhere. And the effort isn't even shrinking my ass. Talk about useless!

Every time I sit down to write this month, my eye wanders to a to-do list that gets longer and longer. I'm not sure what's gotten into me. I'm all about lists and completing them. Or I used to be. Nowadays I scan the list and become so overwhelmed I shove said list under a book and sit staring into space with no purpose.

ARGH! It's so frustrating.

I have four doctors appointments I need to schedule, and that's just for me. Somehow, I manage to get S. and David squared away with doctor visits, just not my own.

Summer... is a hot topic for me. No pun intended. I decided to NOT enroll David in a summer day camp program this year. He's had a bit of a rough year with school, so we decided to enroll him in a reading clinic at a local university. It's just an hour and a half in the AM for five weeks. Challenging for my work schedule as it's hard for me to just drop offline in the middle of the morning and be M.I.A. for a few hours. And you might be wondering how on earth I plan to work for the rest of the days... I am envisioning my laptop on the patio and buying dozens of outdoor games for David to occupy his time in the backyard. This summer I will be the Mom with the laptop and cellphone trying to juggle two months of a flying-by-the-seat-of-my-pants schedule. I don't want the boy sitting idle, summer should be about FUN after all, so I am a little nervous how I am going to swing it.

Adoption topic... is still a work in process. I am still investigating, interviewing with a few local agencies. We know for sure that our sights are set on a domestic adoption. At least we narrowed that down.  I have another appointment this month with an agency recommended to me. My stress and fear level goes through the roof when I think about this topic. Fodder for another post, because frankly.... it's too emotional to just pay lip service in this post.  So you must wait for news on that.

S.'s job... still up in the air. S-T-R-E-S-S-F-U-L. He has one, at least for another 30 days. By the end of summer we could be up the creek. I am being supportive for now. Big changes are coming whether we like it or not. We just don't know how it will flush out... yet.

Meanwhile, the house is in disarray. After 10 years in this house, we are forced to start upgrading all the builders-grade crap this house came with. And some.  Things are starting to fall apart, and we've been spending a lot of time at our local home improvement center. Some of the projects were willingly started by us, like the new front door we have on order (the current one is so warped I can see outside from the INSIDE!). Other projects are the result of things just breaking- the air conditioner, attic fan, bathroom fixtures. Oh, and a bundle of cash dropped last month for termite treatment. Yes, new houses can get termites. Think of me when you see the Termin.ix commercial with the bugs knocking on the door.  Hopefully, they won't come for YOU.  heh.

Fortunately, not a penny has been spent this year on infertility treatments. I am going to take that as a blessing that instead of trying to fix a broken ME, we are fixing a broken house instead.

At least that money is well spent.

That sinking feeling

I was just putting David into the bathtub and taking my vitamins and my (last) BCP, when I heard a bunch of commotion in the master bathroom.

There was S., pulling everything out from under the bathroom sink. The entire cabinet was dripping wet.

It seems that builders grade sinks can rust out and fall to pieces. Really.

The good news is *something* made S. actually look under the cabinet, otherwise we would have ended up with an even bigger problem. I had visions of water seeping through to the 1st floor and a homeowners claim, but thankfully we caught it in time.

The bad news is we have two other bathroom sinks in the house that are also crappy builders grade and likely also rusting and decomposing under our noses. Not to mention we had plans to gut said bathroom and renovate next year so I am annoyed that I have to replace something that I'll rip out again in a year anyway.

So last night turned into "Bob the Builder FixIt Night" (or so David called it) and S. removed the sink and sub-par plumbing attachments. We now have a big hole awaiting a new sink.

One trip to Large Home Improvement Store today, and we will be ready for Part II... installing a new sink.

Fun times at the BagMomma house.

Control, or lack of it

Last week was such a blur. So much going on at work. The funeral. Just a long and emotional week.

So on Saturday I was looking for something mindless to occupy my time and spent the better part of the morning sorting trains, cars, dinosaurs, legos, pirates, ninja turtles, and puzzles. It was The Great Playroom Cleanup.

I wish I had a "before" picture, to truly appreciate the end result. Let's just say I couldn't walk on the floor. Literally...
I stepped on a pirate with a sword that stuck to my foot. It didn't draw blood (well that would have been a better story) but I can tell you I had the imprint of Captain Hook on my foot all day.

You see, S. and I differ on the use of the playroom. He says that it is a kid zone, meaning, it can be messy 24/7 with some minor cleanup now and then.

I am a bit more radical with my thoughts... in that, a playroom should be clean overall (how can you play when you have no room to walk?) and organized. Take a bin out, put it back. Anything David plays with for the day has to go back to its home at the end of the day. With the exception of the trains, that can stay out since I've spent an hour building the track. Because only Mommy has the spacial skills to build a track, and it's far too taxing on my brain to have to do it over and over.

Anyway... I am thinking of labeling the bins (not that David can read them yet) to complete the room. Overkill? Perhaps.

The one thing I've learned though the last three years of infertility is I must maintain order where I can. It balances out the fact that I have no freaking control over my body and the little control I have restores my blissful balance.

So, the playroom is my control point.

Now if only I could apply that to the family room...

I want to be FREE... of paper.

Do you all keep file boxes for your important data? You know, bills, and such?

I am having a bit of a time with parting with my data. I keep a box for each year and organize into folders for bank cards, utilities, investments, health/medical stuff, insurance, etc.

The reality is once I get through the year, the only thing I ever pull out again is usually tax related items. Because, drilled into my head from previous experience is the fact that the only really important stuff to hang onto are tax files.

Now that I do 75% of my bill paying online, I have less paper, but I'm still buried from accumulated paper over the years.

We've been married for almost 13 years, hence almost as many boxes cluttering my upstairs closet. I did make an effort, oh, about 6 years ago to weed through the data, and I consolidated 3 years into one box.... but then I got bored and never finished.

I don't want to turn into my MIL and have 40 years of data rotting in the basement.

So what do you all do for organizing your household paperwork? What do you keep? What do you toss?

And more importantly, how do you dispose the data? I have TWO shredders that worked for like a month, and died. I'm not buying an industrial shredder for one clean-up effort. But I must shred and have no resources to shred large quantities of paper.

Please share.

Because I am buried in useless paper that would be much happier as recycled paper.

And I want my space back.

A fresh start

Things are finally getting back to normal here from the holiday. Yesterday we lugged the last box of Xmas decor into the basement and my family room looked a lot bigger again without a tree and a mountain of toys.

I had this crazy idea, back before Halloween... that for each holiday of "stuff/decor" I was going to buy color-coordinating containers to put stuff in rather than miscellaneous cardboard boxes. So all my Fall decor is in orange 18-30 gallon plastic containers... and now (after raiding Target of the last clearance aisles) 10 red and green containers for the holiday decor.

The goal is to get rid of as much cardboard as possible.

1. Because the storage area in the unfinished side of the basement is risky (we had one flood a year back and I feel much safer with all my stuff in plastic and up/off the floor)

2. Keeps my sanity when I have to ask S. to bring up any seasonal stuff.

3. I feel organized.

4. Cardboard sucks and there's only so many times you can tape and retape a box.

All of David's (baby) clothes that he outgrew are also in big blue containers. Stacked in the corner should we ever need them again.

The crazy thing about all of this, is I feel so much better not wading through junk downstairs anymore. There was a time (before the basement was partially finished) when our basement was a graveyard... a dumping ground. When we were forced to organize and throw out stuff it took us TWO FULL DAYS and an entire dumpster.

Soon I can rest easy that my basement is a friendly environment, and not have that perpetual monkey on my back that I need to clean and organize. Sometimes tasks like that can be so overwhelming.

Next up after the basement is finito, the walk-in closet above the garage. 7x10 feet of more stuff I probably don't need. Half of it is old baby stuff. Most days when I have to venture in there for something I don't spend a lot of time. It's currently a wasted space that could function as a sitting room, or a crafts room.

No matter what happens this year, I do plan to get rid of all of the contents (some of the stuff can't be reused anyway). I feel like having it stare me in the face is doing me no good. Just a reminder that I've been perpetually waiting for 2 1/2 years.

Cleaning is good. Sorta like cleansing the soul at the same time.

Ups and Downs

Well here's a bit of good news. My new refrigerator was delivered this morning. Of course the best part is they showed up unannounced at 7am WHEN I WASN'T HOME. Apparently someone made an error at the store and scheduled delivery and forgot to call us to confirm.

Lovely.

The upside is they turned around and drove back an hour later, just enough time for me to haul everything out of the old one into the basement fridge.

The downside is I couldn't fit everything in the freezer downstairs, so I have a free extra turkey thawing in the extra fridge.

Oh, and the new one seems to be working, so that's good right?

On the bad side, I got 129 e-mails in my work inbox OVER THE WEEKEND. Freaking overachievers...

The good news is I created a folder called JOB #3 #4 and #5 in my email account and sorted them out of my inbox. I will get to them someday, or after I HIRE TWO people to backfill the roles. Does it make sense to lay off people and hire in the same two weeks? ....methinks not, but I am not the CEO of Big Computer Company. I just do my job. Times five.

Thank goodness it's a short week.

Well, at least it's not an ice chest

Have you shopped for a major kitchen appliance lately? I am aghast at the prices out there for basic kitchen necessities. Not to mention the quality has declined year after year. Which means whether you buy a $4,000 fridge or a $800 one, they all have similar shelf-lives. Thank you China.

Hubby and I have been on the hunt for a new refrigerator, mainly because since the resuscitation of the old one back in August? to the tune of $250, our beloved fridge has been going Sybill on us lately. One day the milk is just a touch not cold enough, the next day it's the polar ice cap.

I don't need a fridge that sings to me or tells me how beautiful I am in the morning (although that might be a nice add-on). I went shopping for a basic fridge with an external filtered water dispenser.

So, off we go to Lowe's for their Veteran's Day Sale. They had four rows of refrigerators. Your basic top/bottom, side-by-side, and the new french door top with the freezer bottom. We didn't want the bare-bones top-bottom (no water dispenser or inconveniently located in the fridge). We looked at the new-fangle french door ones, but as much as I loved seeing the fridge portion wide and at eye-level... the freezer on the bottom was useless. I mean, who wants to DIG in your freezer? I would never find anything in there!

So, we are forced back to the side-by-side. And, now, we decide we want stainless. But did you know there are several different kinds of stainless? true stainless, faux stainless, satin stainless? Satin stainless won out (I did the fingernail test... shhhhhh) because it was the only one that did not scratch with minimum effort and showed no handprints.

In the end, our final choice was a Whirlpool Gold, which met all of my needs except it doesn't talk to me. lol.

It does however, have a few bells and whistles I could have done without. Of course it was one of the only models that cannot be delivered next-day. So we won't have it until the day before Thanksgiving next week. Or maybe earlier local Lowe's helper says.

Did I mention I am hosting Thanksgiving?

Eventually, when I become independently wealthy, I will need to replace the stove and the dead microwave, even the dishwasher soon I bet. Now that it's been 8 years since we last fully furnished the kitchen I'll know better next time when I am thinking appliances aren't THAT expensive.

For now, I thank Lowe's for the no-interest financing... which allows us to buy food to put into the refigerator.

An oasis for hubby

My dear beloved husband is turning 40 in two weeks. He's been pretty stern about not wanting to make a big deal out of his birthday. I am obliging, especially since I want the same low key atmosphere when my 40th comes around next year.

It's not that we care about turning forty. Well, we do a little.

It's a milestone that seemed so far off for so many years.

And here we are. 10 years to 50 (now THAT's scary!). and after that 10 more till I get my AARP card. bwahahaha...

I stink at gifts for S.

We pretty much buy what we want anyway, so it seems illogical to go out and buy something he won't wear or use. So I thought, how about something different.

So let me back up a little...

Husband of mine has a very stressful job. He has customers that beat up on him on a daily basis. When he comes home, he would optimally like to run up to the bedroom and hide under the covers and forget about work.

At the end of his workday, he drives though rush hour traffic to pick up David from school, then he turns around and goes back the other way (in the same traffic) to get home. Upon getting home, he is usually beat... physically and emotionally. He grabs a soda and sits in the recliner (HIS recliner! I have one too) and decompresses.

With David running about and shouting at his ninja turtles and throwing crackers and Legos at the dog, and the dog barking, and me trying to cook dinner and finish up my work in my office, and the phone ringing- well, you get the idea.

It's not very tranquil in the house.

Hubby had dreamed of having a quiet oasis in the backyard. A place to relax and kick back with some nice scenery.

Five years back, my Dad and my brother installed a patio (EP Henry Pavers), but it was square and plain. Nothing to look at, just grey rocks and moss growing inbetween them. No trees, no bushes, no flowers, no character.....nothing.

We had all intentions of landscaping the backyard. We just had a jillion excuses. It's too much work, it's too hot, what kind of trees and bushes, when will we have time to do it, who wants to haul dirt around, I might break a nail, etc.

Last month I threw away the excuses and asked my Dad to throw us a referral for a landscaper. I knew there was NO WAY we were going to EVER landscape it on our own. I decided to hire someone and get this monkey off my back for good.

I didn't tell S. until the crew was scheduled. When we came home from Florida last week, we pulled into our driveway, unloaded the suitcases, and found 3 men in our backyard digging.

SURPRISE!

And they finished Monday. They added a fancy step-off the patio and planted bushes, flowers, and trees!!! and it looks sooooooooo nice.




I finally have given my dear S. the quiet place he always wanted. ~xo~

Not as riveting as Pirates of the Caribbean, but exciting nonetheless

We had a very busy holiday weekend here.

Since S. had off a four day weekend, we spent much of it painting around the house. Primarily the kitchen. We had sealed in a wall that connected our old dining room which is now my office a YEAR ago, and the spackled new drywall remained for 12 months until this weekend.

Since Lowe's was having a paint sale, we decided that it was finally time to finish what we started. I am now convinced that the kitchen is THE hardest room to paint, considering what we thought would be a day or work turned into almost three.

I guess I should have shot a "before" photo, to truly admire how dark and danky the kitchen was. Half of it was a medium stone-brown and the other was blue. Our house is only 7 years old but the kitchen looked like a dungeon.

Behold the results, brighter and it looks clean!
We painted the ceilings and even the bead-board that the construction guys installed last year.Check one big item off the major to-do list.

Next items on the list, a new front door and landscaping around the patio. I'm already thinking of subbing out the landscaping. The reason we keep putting it off is it's sooo labor intensive. I mean, who really wants to shovel dirt in 90 degree weather?