A swine Halloween

Swine flu or no swine flu, we managed to have Halloween here at the BagMomma house after all.

It's been a long week, and I am not lying when I tell you I had almost forgotten I had my FET last Tuesday. David being sick was all the diversion I needed.

Thankfully, the boy started feeling better at the end of the week, and was awake enough to put on his Halloween costume and venture out for a little while with Daddy while I stayed behind to give out candy.

He even stayed in costume when it got dark, and attempted to scare trick-or-treaters by standing still as a statue under the maple tree.

Now that the weekend is over, I guess I can start wondering if the lone embryo made it.

My first guess is a no, and I judge that only from extensive experience in the 2ww.  I've said it before, and I'll say it again.  I know my body quite well (even though I've grown to hate it).  There's no way I am pregnant.

Beta is on Friday, but I intend to test very soon just so I can get it over with.

*Sigh*

Yep, I just took the "Happy" out of Halloween.  Sorry about that.

Zultan, the Magnificent

This weekend, we went to a Halloween party hosted by my neighbor, who is the ultimate party hostess. Her house, decorated inside and out is a Halloween showpiece. She spends weeks (yes, I said WEEKS) prepping for the holiday. I wish you could all see it, really I do.

So anyway, she has a ton of rare Halloween items, and one of them is a real fortune telling machine. Are any of you are familiar with Zoltar (from the movie "Big")? Well, she has a tabletop version that is every bit as mystical and cool...  meet Zultan.

Zultan was busy that night giving out fortunes. All you had to do was press a button, wait for the curtain to open, and listen. Most of the fortunes were sort of depressing. Aren't these types of games supposed to be rigged to sway towards the positive??  Come on!

I mean, would you keep playing with the Magic 8 Ball if it only said, "better luck next time", "the future is uncertain", "get lost, you're bad luck" (ok, I made that one up).

But I like to live on the edge.  Was I going to let Zultan ruin my party mood?  Hell no.

So I pressed the button.

And Zultan?

He told me my hearts desire will be mine. My wish will come true.

Zultan, you may be the economy version of Zoltar, but thank you.

For keeping my hope alive.

I needed that.

The world we live in...

Yesterday, we bought pumpkins to decorate and put on the front step.

David spent a considerable amount to time drawing a vampire, a skeleton, and a graveyard with markers on one pumpkin.

He proudly put it on the front step last night.

This morning, we woke to smashed pumpkins on our front lawn. Our ghosts in the tree were pulled down and destroyed.

Looking down the street, I see the vandals threw potted mums and destroyed other neighbors yards as well.

This makes me sad.

How do you explain such crap to a six year old?

The Downpour

Coming off of a stellar week, and when I say "stellar" I say that with the most sarcasm I can muster.

I've been sick since last Friday, with some sort of head cold/sinus infection. I can't even describe the amount of pain I was in over the weekend. I can tell you that I seemed to have passed my cold to S., and David has been acting a little wonky, and wonky=sick is coming. This despite washing our hands until raw, and coating my house in a thin layer of Lysol and disinfectant.

Rule #1: You cannot STOP the germs.

On top of all of this, S. found out his job vanished last week. Poof! It's a veritable Halloween nightmare. It's almost comical, really- that partnered with the news I received recently that my own job is pretty much toast (the job will go by the holidays, along with my sanity) . So we know one job is gone for sure, we are just waiting for the pink slip. Possibly both.

I'm not going to lie. I am steps away from losing my mind. That being said, we are coping. I don't know how, but we are. We have begun preparations for the hurricane of job loss. Around now, I would be starting a Christmas list. Not this year.

I've been diverting my attention with David activities. He has soccer 2x a week, and just started cub scouts (which he LOVES so far). Poor S. had to do both without me this past weekend. I was lounging in bed with a cold ice pack on my head and hyped up on caffeinated hot tea.

I should mention that a sinus infection + Lupron is a bad mix. So for my friends cycling, if you feel a sickness coming on RUN (don't walk) to the doctor for antibiotics. Or suffer the worst headache you've EVER had.

I'm just sayin'...

Phantastic Halloween

Behold, the S.W.A.T. man...

He looks intimidating, no?

He paraded at school... (that's his 7th grade "buddy" holding his hand... all together... awwwwwwwwww........)

He even had the time to pose in the dugout with the World Series Champions... the Phils!

Ok, that was trick photography...

It was a very bizarre Halloween around here with, oh, like, half the population in Philadelphia crowding the city, hooting, hollering, and drunk off their ass (well, it HAS been 25 years since we won anything).

But no, not us.

We were drunk on Snickers bars and Mummy Dogs. How much better could a day be?

Boo!

I am off work today...

Making Mummy Hot Dogs for today's Halloween festivities.

Aren't you jealous? If you want to make your own, go here.

Back on Monday with a Halloween wrap-up post. Just in time for the post-Halloween sugar coma.

Happy Halloween!

Never too early...

...to order up the Halloween costume.

David has decided that his new adult career will be a "SWAT Man". Not a police officer. That's too generic a title for him.

He's been on this SWAT thing for about 6 months now. If you were to ask him "what does a SWAT person do?" He would respond, "He saves the people!"

David has always had the compassion gene as the overriding emotion he lives by. I try to preserve that quality in him. He's always the first to help a child that has fallen down. He comforts children who cry. He seeks out friends who are like him, and those who are very unlike him. He isn't afraid to put himself out there and worry about whether he will be judged.

I find it all so endearing, and frankly... I am often jealous. I remind myself that I was once the same child... but as we grow older and life imposes the good and the bad, sometimes those qualities get lost or forgotten.

I would love for David to grow up and find passion in something he feels he was "born to do".

Perhaps a teacher, doctor, fireman, or humanitarian.

But for this Halloween, he will be a SWAT Man...

...saving the world.

Image from Sensational Beginnings... land of cool costumes

The day after

We had a nice Halloween. And since David was not given the opportunity to OD on sugar, he had a relaxing night (I think he loved giving out candy more than actually going trick-or-treating).

Surprisingly, we ended up with a small bag of candy untouched, a little less kids than in previous years, but it was still crazy as ever.

Now, the hard part... not eating the leftovers!!

Ready or not!

I'm ready for the onslaught. I have my 5 jumbo bags of candy (560 pieces of candy) at the ready. Wait, your balking at the 560 pieces of candy aren't you? In this neighborhood, that will last only until about 6pm.

So I went to my RE appointment yesterday and we are gearing up for the next cycle. I am 10 days into this one, so assuming we can get the meds ordered and delivered in time, we will be ready to begin sometime around Turkey Day.

I have to laugh when I think about my RE's office. They are all so stinkin' nice there, and when they saw me walk in with my husband they all clapped and yelled 'woot'! S. was like...what the hell??? They were celebrating my hCG return to zero. Dr. V said they will be posting a plaque in the hallway with my unique distinction as the patient with the most blood draws waiting to hit zero. Yeah, right.

So we went over the plan, which is 2 or 3 cycles of injectibles with IUI, and if that doesn't work, onto IVF. Dr. V whipped out his fact sheets for everything we are doing, reviewed the process (for S.'s benefit really, since he missed the last consult in August).... and we are on our way.

We are hoping that going this route will produce better egg quality. Obviously, I've been serving up crappy eggs in the last year. Dr. V is optimistic for us. He still thinks my RPL is random bad luck, and I still have a good chance of one of these pregnancies sticking. After all, we have exhausted all the tests (thyroid, clotting, immune panel, etc. etc. which all are boringly normal). Even though getting pregnant has not been a big issue with S. and I in the past (sans the 'questionable' right blocked tube which may or may not be blocked), Dr. V suggested having S. do an SA this month just to see if anything has changed on his end.

So, between now and then, Dr. V says... "feel free to try to get pregnant this month on your own". And I'm thinking, damn, it's been a long time since we were in babymaking mode. And, should I try to start charting again just this month so I can at least know when AF should arrive (No charting of course during monitored cycles but I guess I should just for this one).

I also need to schedule an appointment with the nurse so S. can learn how to give me the shots. They need to be IM (inter-muscular, preferably in the arm) because I am not a lightweight by any means. I am jealous of all you ladies than can get away with those scrawny SQ pens.

So, there we are.

After all this time, we really are moving forward.

Shall I whip out my Goddess of Fertility costume?

Did you know that there are at least 25 Fertility Deities? Here I am thinking of the obvious ones like Aphrodite and Venus, but upon Googling I found one for every nationality, religion, and ethic background. My choices for Halloween are now endless. lol.

Come on, anything to increase my odds. You know I am game.

Well, now that the hCG drama has reached an end, we are moving forward. I have a consult with my RE this afternoon regarding next steps. On my mind at present, when this current light AF will end (I'm on Day 10), and is it still considered the last of the miscarriage or if it does count as the start of a new cycle.

Hopefully, my body has not forgotten how to get back in gear.... it HAS been 6 months since my last cycle.

And, of course, the topic of medical insurance and how much I'm going to have to ante up that insurance won't pay for. For all of my readers/friends who have BTDT, I will probably have some questions for you all when I get there. I get the feeling that my RE's office is above average at the insurance game. They make a point to give you a novel at the start of each segment detailing what is/is not covered, and they do make an effort to get as much covered as possible. When we had talked about injectibles a few months back, I put together a list of all that they use and what is/is not on my formulary, and they laughed and produced an even better form with my cost per avg. cycle by individual med./combo.

And here I thought I was the Type A personality.

So, I will return with an update later on that. As well, I am picking up David early from daycare after my appointment so we have some time to carve a pumpkin. David loves to pull out the insides of a pumpkin (he's a boy after all), and who am I to not let him get his hands dirty?

This year, David has TWO costumes... one for school, and the other for Trick-or-Treat... because I learned the hard way that the costume he wears to school never quite makes it home in one piece. Or at all for that matter.

He will be a policeman for school (Target 14.99 special, lol) and a fire fighter for Halloween eve. My goal this year (again, learned the HARD way) is to not let him ingest ANY sugar before going out. Last year, he was so hyped up on sugar we barely made it to 6 houses before he started stripping off his pirate costume.

Lessons learned. ;-)