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Showing posts with label 9/11. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 9/11. Show all posts

Friday, September 09, 2011

Ten Years

It's been ten years.

If you've been a reader around my blog for awhile, you know that I try to somehow touch on the remembrance of 9/11 each year this date rolls around, whether it be in a blog post, Twitter, Facebook, or just with a pen to paper in my own thoughts. You can read some of the posts here,  here and my original story here.

I am feeling a bit unsettled this year. I know that people are naturally drawn to "milestones" so of course ten years does mark an important passage of time. It seems like yesterday, I suppose. But then again, it seems like a lot has happened since then.

So, we all grieve in different ways, ways right? No way is the right way. All of them are valid, of course, depending on how close or far your were to the day's events.

I consider myself "once removed", that is... I worked a block away from the World Trade Center that year (traveling in from Jersey on a regular basis). My heart was there that day, but I wasn't... just by the sheer luck of a meeting reschedule. I didn't personally know anyone that perished, but I knew quite a few that escaped (narrowly).

I watched all the TV coverage over the initial months, fearful that I could have certainly been a casualty if not for a random event. Wondering what may have been, feeling gut-wrenching sorrow for those families and co-workers, alive and dead, enduring the pain of loss.

In recent years, I stopped watching any media coverage. Why? Well, it's hard to say this but each year after, I started to feel "dirty". Much of the coverage seemed a lot less to do about recovering and more to do with "news that sells".

You know what I mean... or maybe I should explain. Why is it that only certain families losses are featured over and over? Some have become mini-celebrities in spite of themselves. Out of all of the thousands of people that died? I must put a disclaimer here, as I don't want to offend anyone. I just find much of the news coverage to be....

indulgent.

A local news radio in my area is replaying their segments from September 11th this Sunday. And the point of that is.....?

For me, remembering is all about paying our respects to those who died and continue to die because of what happened that day. I feel sorrow for the victims, the families, friends, co-workers, and loved ones that continue to live life in memory of the ones that can't.

I pay respect to our servicemen/women who have worked tirelessly to keep our country safe, even losing their own lives for it.  

What I don't want.. the drudging up of emotions for shock value. Such as, replaying a live segment (which I heard last year) when a broadcaster realized that the "thumps" they were hearing behind them were not bits of building, but bodies dropping from the towers before they fell.

Is this how we remember?

It just doesn't seem right to me. But then again, we all find our own way to lessen the pain I guess. I hope you find your own, and that this weekend finds you safe with those you love.

xo


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Monday, May 02, 2011

Open Wounds

I did not intend to write a post about this... lord knows there are many and to be honest, I read only one. My friend Mel, posted today over at her blog and as I wrote my comment to her reaction I could feel all that sadness and rage washing over me again.

I've written maybe a half dozen posts over the years around 9/11, and my personal connection to all the madness.

I regularly visited NYC with work back then. Walked Lower Manhattan more times than I could count. Walked through the towers, rode the elevators, ate and slept at the Marriott, shopped Century 21, bought ibuprofen at Duane Reade and brushed my hand across the bull as I walked down to my favorite Starbucks near my office.

I cried for all the people that died that day, many whom I probably passed by dozens of times before not knowing it would be the last time.  Fortunate only because 9/11 was one day I was not there.

I never went back to Ground Zero. Never visited. Couldn't bear to feel the ghosts of all of those strangers that died. Didn't want to meet the sadness head-on. The total destruction of my innocence brought about by Osama Bin Laden.

I was on Twitter last night when the news broke. To be honest, it didn't even occur to me that it was OBL that was the news. I thought maybe a giant meteor was headed toward Earth.

Yes, I'm a little overly-pessimistic.

I heard the official news via live video on my iPad as I was lying in bed. I turned off my iPad, rolled over and fell asleep, dreamless.  My reaction last night was almost non-existent.  Until I logged on the computer today.  There was that familiar sadness and rage.  This time, with a side of weirdness..  happy that someone is dead.

As I was making David breakfast I heard him ask, "Mommy, why is everyone so happy we killed that dead guy?"

I'm not quite sure where to even start. Or even if I should.

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