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Thursday, September 17, 2009

There goes my psychic connection again...

When I wrote that post on Tuesday? It was immediately before I had the worst conversation with my employer in my life.

In. my. life.

Coincidence? I don't know, but sometimes I scare myself when coincidence is far too repetitive.

I am ready to plan my departure from the corporate chess match. I am done. Maybe I can live on my dream job as a barista at Starbucks.

Man, I wish I could share details, but I won't because there could be eyes here, and damn you Blogger for not having a pw protect option for posts.

It is most sad and maybe, just maybe.... a sign. Bigger and better things (and less stress) are ahead. It's not even the money anymore that matters. I refuse to check my reputation at the door. I will not be insulted.

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I am also struggling with blogging. You know it already, and I've been singing a sad tune for a month now, but honestly I am out of words.

I know it's my state of mind. I know I am depressed. I know I need to spend time avoiding a nervous breakdown. I just need to start a plan.

I am mad at myself for not taking care of me. I'm not sleeping, and (surprise) the fat girl (that's me) isn't eating well, if at all. Why is this momentous? Because I am used to stuffing my face to deal with any kind of stress. That is how I operate- until lately. There is no joy in food, and THAT my friends is a sign I need to figure out what the hell is wrong with me.

So please bear with me. I might be here less. I might comment less.

But please don't leave my side. I need you my friends.

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