Friday, August 01, 2008
An auspicious day
On August 1, 2002 I was sitting at the bedside of my grandmother, who had been ill for many months. I loved my grandmother to pieces, and when she was still lucid in those final days we had a lot of important conversations.
For years... going way back to when I was in my early twenties, my Grandmother and I joked about me being a Mom someday (because back then I didn't think I'd ever want to have children). And as I got older she would say, "I'm not leaving this earth until my Grandbaby has a baby, you'll see."
Earlier that Spring in 2002 S. and I had decided to start trying to have a baby. I told my Grandmother- she had that glint in her eye just like the many times before when we talked about it. Sort of the "told you so" look.
And then she got very sick. For three months, my Mom and I spent every single day in a hospital with her. Wishing her back to good health, but then realizing that it would soon be her time to go.
On August 1st, during one of our last conversations, she reminded me of her oath.
"I AM NOT leaving this earth until you have a baby."
She whispered it, and I wished it to be so more than you can imagine.
On August 8th, she passed away.
I didn't know it at the time, but that was the evening I conceived David. Shortly after her funeral, I took my first ever pregnancy test (on my Gram's Birthday no less), and there it was... two lines. After I looked back at my charting for the previous month, it did not surprise me a bit when I saw that I ovulated and conceived on that day.
She kept her promise.
And I gave birth to David. I chose the name because it was my Grandfather's name, and the meaning fit perfectly... Beloved.
Through all the pain since, I had always wanted to time a cycle during the first weeks of August. Partly because it is the time of year to remember Gram, and most importantly, to thank her for leaving a miracle that day she left this earth.
It's August 1st, a wonderful day to start.
I had my first baseline (u/s and b/w) appointment at the RE this morning.
10 antral follicles present and accounted for (5R, 5L). My female insides are in suitable condition to start injections.
Today is Stim Day 1. (300 IU Gonal-F & 150 IU of Menopur)
In the spirit of the upcoming Olympics, and in the spirit of my beloved Gram....
Let the games begin!