Sunday, April 24, 2011
Looking back, I am still mired in regret. Let's be honest here... when you are in the muck of infertility's grip it's very hard to see forward into the future or assess the past. It's hard enough to live in the present. The difference for me between this year and last year is time. Time and space to think about the actions I've taken on my own infertility journey with a fresh perspective.
But I tried.
My body failed me... not on purpose but rather by nature.
I am not the happy-ending to the fairytale.
But it's not all bad.
Ironically, I now consider myself a self-taught expert on the subject of fertility, or lack of it. Because the journey did not end in the way I imagined, I share my knowledge with anyone that will listen. I bust the myths around fertility every day to at least save another from walking a similar path. There is no sugar-coating the truth.
This is the only positive way I've found to channel the emotions I still have, and always will carry with me.
Fertility is NOT forever.
But we can make a difference in understanding and acknowledging it.
Understand infertility: Visit Resolve.
National Infertility Awareness Week (NIAW) is April 24th through April 30th: Take Charge.
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Today is my last day.
Many of you already know, but this is the day the world knows. Nearly 20 years with the same company in the same industry immersed in the land of software technology and fast-paced-blink-and-you-miss-it business. That's my favorite logo up there (not in use for quite a long time since acquisition), as I always thought of myself as yellow, then b.i.g blue. Always yellow.
Today I give up my company-owned laptop (truthfully, I wanted to chuck it though the window but policy dictates that I transfer it in a .... ummmm...more "civil" manner).
This was my identity.
Until today, that is.
For the next ten days I am unemployed, and in May I start a new career in the family business. Less stress, less long days and hopefully more time to dedicate to myself and my family.
Looking back, I nearly could vomit when I think about the rollercoaster which was my career here. So many twists, turns, and drops. So many opportunities to morph into a raging bitch (heh), but thankfully I leave the same way I started on my first day in 1992...
...just me... older, wiser, way more computer literate, integrity intact! and armed with a kick-ass Coach bag.
Here's to the memories and friends I've made along the journey. What a strange and precious journey it's been.