Well, that's the diagnosis anyway.
I had another visit to the dermatologist and received another bucket of injections to the head. My hair is still falling out, although it is slowing down just a bit. Perhaps that is because 60% of my hair is gone.
Less to fall out, you know.
I am seeing some regrowth, thanks to the cortisone injections. Just very fine hairs, and very small, but some. When I pull what hair I have back into a hair clip my head looks like a bad stylist went psycho with scissors. Thankfully, most of the bald spots are on the sides and underside of the hair that I have, so when the hair on top of my head falls left or right, I look not as terrible.
Something happened at my appointment that terrified me.
Mr. Dermatologist reviewed my health history, and said... "hmmmmmm... I see you have a long history of recurrent miscarriage and infertility. Are you still pursuing that?"
Then, a long pause and lump in my throat. "no, why?"
He continued to explain that alopecia is sometimes a manifestation of underlying autoimmune issues. "Well, if you had come to me with this issue when you were doing treatment, I would have referred you to a doctor for more specialized testing, beyond typical testing for recurrent miscarriage.... because, well, you never know.... I have seen this..."
He went on with an explanation, but all I heard from that point on was ringing in my ears and a feeling that my stomach had sunk to my feet.
I had some basic autoimmune and clotting testing done after my second miscarriage, but I had always wondered if I dug far enough. I only had the basic panel. I was thisclose to referring my case on my own to a well-known doctor who works with this scenario after miscarriage #5.
And I always, always thought something was quirky with my immune system.
Bad reactions to certain fertility drugs.
Curious reactions to anti-inflammatory drugs.
Pregnancies that progressed just so far and miscarriages that always ended with a normal tissue analysis. No chromosonal abnormalities. Normal. Normal. Normal.
But I had a baby once before! Doctors surmising... just bad luck, BAD LUCK.
Ok, changed our mind.... bad EGGS. After all, you are over 40 now!
I asked my RE back then about immune issues, but was told it was improbable with one normal, live birth.
Improbable, but not impossible...
I was sent on my way from the dermatologist with a prescription for topical hair medicine and a diagnosis.
I think I just opened a new door I can't shut.
And the answer?
It may just as well break me for good.